DEAR MOM, LETTERS

Dear Mom, the day my little miracle baby was born the neonatologist in his most pathetic sad voice broke the news to us that they suspected our little girl had Down Syndrome. I asked him, “does she have 10 fingers and toes? Is she breathing?” When his response was yes, I told him “well then give her to me so I can see her”.

What your feeling right now if perfectly normal. The feelings of sadness, uncertainty, grief this is all part of the process. Also know, that These feelings will not last. You may feel glimpses of them as time passes, but feelings of joy, love, adoration and being proud will far outweigh the not so great feelings. 

Worry is a tricky thing, isn't it? It creeps into our hearts, slowly climbing and growing like sticky vines on a hot day. But mama, our hearts were made to beat freely, without the constraints of future fears. Our children teach us to live in the present. No one has a crystal ball…

I never knew life could be so good. You might be scared or sad and I was too. It’s okay and even an important part of the journey to grieve. My baby girl is everything I never knew I always wanted and your baby will be too. After many years and many failed attempts to have a baby, Emmy is the one that stuck.

I’m just going to say it; I did not want a baby with Down Syndrome. Our oldest daughter has autism and I already felt overwhelmed by the demands of being a special needs mom. So with the realization of our 20 week ultrasound, and confirmed blood work solidifying the Down syndrome diagnosis, I was angry!

First off...CONGRATS!! I know life may look a little different for you now, but I wanted to let you know that you don't have to let go of ANY of the dreams you had for your child prior to finding out about that tiny little extra chromosome. Please don't sweep those expectations and BIG dreams under a rug.

It’s ok to cry. To mourn the idea of what you thought your life was going to be with this little one growing inside you. Let it all out, but don’t let it consume you. Move forward because when you look back at this very moment you’ll wonder why you were so worried. 

However your precious one came to be yours, know that you are the exact mom intended for them. No matter how capable or incapable you feel at times, you are theirs and they are yours. Yes they need you, but if your journey is anything like mine, you need them more.

I know you might be frightened right now. I was too. Finding out that my boy was born with Down Syndrome was shocking and difficult to process. There was so much fear about the future and grief over the loss of what I had imagined for my baby's life.

Knowing what I now know, I wish I could go back and give myself a glimpse of what our lives are like now. Yes, our lives are different, but so much better! There is so much more joy, and love and hope. We are stronger, better people because of Eli. He was exactly what God knew our family needed.

I saw the “look” when I looked at my son and knew he had Down syndrome. Then doctors came in and delivered the news. “I’m sorry...” My world turned 180 degrees upside down. He was a rainbow baby and the first boy in my side of family, so expectations were high, then I had a baby with Down syndrome. I kept asking myself Why me? I blamed myself for not be able to have “a normal child”. I felt like a failure…

When we found out we were expecting and saw our child’s heartbeat for the very first time, the artistic side of me decided to paint and frame the saying “I knew I loved you before I met you” for the baby’s room because well, I was in love with this baby. The joy and excitement we felt was so pure but it was stripped from us when we were given the news that our little girl would be born with Down Syndrome.

I need you just as you may need me. I’ve felt lost, lonely, sad, and helpless. I’ve cried alone in the car during the middle of the day. It’s not easy having a child who’s built and operates differently than others. But you know what? That’s exactly what makes our babies simply amazing.

Congratulations! You have been given an extraordinary child. Right now, your emotions are likely an exploding paradox of joy and concern, marvel and assumption. It is okay, focus on the joy and wonder. Embrace your circumstances and pace yourself. Community is a wonderful thing, so surround yourself with others who challenge you in encouraging ways and add positive truth that is balanced with grace.

I bet you never knew how wonderful having a child with Down syndrome would be. I know I didn’t! Fletcher is only 4 months old, but I already feel like the luckiest mom on the planet to have been given this sweet boy. We are in the middle of a scary time as we are getting close to open heart surgery. Fletcher was born with an AV Canal defect and PDA. We knew he was going to need this surgery before he was born. But now that he’s here, and he has the best little smile you’ve ever seen, it makes it so much scarier.

The doctors and even some family members made me feel like abortion was an option and in my heart I knew that was not right. No matter what the circumstance is when you are blessed to be a mom that is amazing. God gives his hardest task to his strongest soldiers. We where specially chosen

You have been chosen by a higher power to fulfill an amazing plan. This little angel has come to earth to your arms with a great desire to teach the world that love is the most important power in the universe. The happiness and love a child with Down syndrome brings to a household is unbelievable. There will be trials and uncertainties but the good will always overcome the bad. I can’t imagine life without my little guy. Good luck on this new amazing journey you are about to explore.

So glad to be able to share this wonderful adventure of parenting a child with Down Syndrome. This is truly an amazing adventure that we get to have a front seat to! There are ups and downs, exciting times and sad times, but it is an adventure like no other.

I remember the day like it was yesterday. I was holding my new baby boy, wrapped in my arms when I found out. He was all snug in a blanket, looking up at me as I cried, listening to the doctors and staff tell me, only minutes after he was born that he had Down Syndrome and what that meant. And in those first few days , after hearing the statistics, talking to doctors and researching online I thought I had it all figured out. I thought I knew what it meant to have a child with Down Syndrome, but quite frankly I was devastated and scared.

I know you're scared. I know you have fears. I want to know this journey is not easy, but you have an opportunity. An opportunity to make a profound difference in your little one's life, to be their advocate, to be a part of an amazing community, and to feel wondrous love. If you ever wanted to find purpose in life, I can tell you, your search is over.

I’m thankful for my daughter. Riley Rose is such a precious child. She fills our day with laughter and smiles. As mothers of extraordinary children, we face challenging days. Another illness, milestone missed, unkind word, or unexpected set back. Everyday I work on having a grateful heart! Some days, that comes easy & some days I have to work harder to master a heart of gratitude. But that’s all part of our journey.

I’m so grateful that you weren’t what I expected! Because that precious one—with that extra chromosome—will be so much better and so much more than anything you ever could have wished for or hoped for. I promise you will have such a full and happy life because of this child! 

Dear Mom, having a child with Down syndrome is very much what I imagine bungee jumping to be like. At first, it’s so scary: you’re close to crying (or just plain crying), hands are shaking and you’re frozen in the chaos... but suddenly you realize that you’re soaring and completely secure; you realize you’re in the presence of wonder, and you’re having the most fun of your life.